top of page

The Beginning Of Our Adventure

Updated: Sep 21, 2021

Right Before The Move

It has been one hell of a journey to finally get to the first days of this new adventure—a 5-month journey around the United States and moving to a new state (St. Louis, Missouri). I have been stressed, anxious, worried, and sad as I say goodbye to Lawrence, Kansas. Lawrence has been my home for the past 6 years and has been my absolute rock as I have grown and transformed into a young adult with responsibilities and the freedom to choose how I show up in the world. Lawrence has supported me through some of the toughest moments of my life, shown me where my core values lie, and given me hope that there is a better world out there than what is in the news. I have made many beautiful, lasting relationships with people who I know will be with me in spirit for the rest of my life. I am so fucking thankful for the experiences I have had in Lawrence, from getting my bachelor’s degree in psychology, working at a local breakfast restaurant called The Roost, dancing the night away at small venues, meeting new people from all walks of life and ages, to meeting my amazing partner Steven, living in my first homes away from home, interning as a medical scribe for a psychiatrist, becoming a social worker for Bert Nash Community Mental Health Center, growing a garden, flowing at Lava Yoga, learning how to cook at mi casa, and soooooo much more. This place will have such a special place in my heart, Lawrence you are gold. You show up for your community and you truly genuinely care about the well-being of ALL people. It is going to be hard to beat the restaurants, the people, hiking trails (especially Baker Wetlands and Clinton Lake) and all the experiences I have made.

As much as I have been in awe, excitement and gratitude at everything that is unfolding. I am also allowing a part of myself to die, and fall away, to make space for new experiences, new places, and new states of being. It has been chaotic, unsettling, scary, and painful. So many limiting beliefs, judgements, and anxiety have come up. Will our car make it the entire trip? Is something going to happen to my dogs? Am I going to have enough money? What if I don’t have the best time of my life? Will I make as many good memories in St. Louis as I did in Lawrence? My whole world has been turned upside down, everything sort of catapulted itself towards this intense period of transformation in my life. I have been preparing for this moment for the last 8 months, but now that it was here, I suddenly felt the discomfort of change, a really big change. Something that would completely take me out of my shell and throw me into the wild abyss of opportunity. Am I really moving to another state and right before I do that, I am going to live out of a little camper trailer that only has a bed for the next 5 months? I think all of the greatest things that we do in our life have to terrify us to our very core and still we make the decision to take that leap of faith into the unknown and trust that everything will work out best-case-scenario. I really believe those are where all the divine moments are experienced. You completely surrender in faith that everything will unfold in divine timing and the stars will align exactly as they are supposed to. The beautiful presence of evolution.

(Photos from our family vacation)

(Boating on Grand Lake and our nature trail hike in Natural Falls State Park)

Family vacation (Afton, OK)

Steven and I decided long before our trip that we really wanted to spend a little bit of time apart with our families before spending everyday with each other for the next 5 months. I am so grateful for that decision because I can’t even remember the last time I had been on a vacation with just my immediate family. Steven went with his father figure to Colorado and stayed at Lake Dillon for a week and my family and I went to Oklahoma and stayed at Grand Lake. The whole experience of staying with my parents and two brothers without Steven was nostalgic, but it also took a bit of time to let it sink in that I was with my adult family. My whole family is really shifting into a new state of being and it is so admirable to watch. My parents, Tom and Kim, are finally settling into the reality of not having to financially provide as often for their children and have been able to spoil themselves with new toys and hobbies. My little brother, Alex, has been working and making responsible, long-term and future-oriented decision with his investments. My older brother, Ryan, just moved to a new city with his girlfriend and it is his first time living with a partner! I am so proud of my family and filled with joy as I get to watch them adventure through this life knowing that they have been such an intimate part of my journey here.

Prior to the vacation, I had spent the last month downsizing our home to fit into an apartment and organizing our things to go on the trip and pack to go to St. Louis where Steven will attend chiropractic college. I also had to say goodbye to so many beautiful souls and it was so taxing on my mental, emotional and physical body. The first couple of days that I was on vacation the stillness and slowness of the day felt surreal. I remember thinking “wow, the days feel so much longer right now.” Due to the stress of the move and the trip I hadn’t been keeping up with my personal practice. My personal practice consists of meditation, reflection, gratitude, movement, and tuning into self. I make time for these things in my life and they are so important to me because they affect my well-being. When I went on vacation, I realized how much I had missed creating that space for myself over the last month and dedicated the early mornings to my personal practice again. It felt rejuvenating, grounding, cleansing, and magical to be back in my power, and to top it off I got to meditate with my mom! I love and am blessed that I had the opportunity to have an extended period of time to really open up to my family and let them inside of my brain and my lifestyle since I moved away. I am so grateful that I have found peace in my relationship with my parents and know that I have their eternal support in all the endeavors in my life. Despite whether they agree or live the same life that I do, I love that they are open to listen, try new things, and respect my values and opinions.

I have faced many trials and tribulations as I peel away the parts of me that felt so comfortable and content. Becoming an entrepreneur, moving to a new place and traveling have forced me to face my fears and the shadows that lurk beneath the surface. As I sat in meditation with my mom focusing on manifestation and abundance, everything started to feel like it was falling into place. I felt like I could take a deep breath, feel into my body, and release the tension of discomfort as I surrendered into the state of receptivity. I could finally hear my inner voice, my higher-self come through to paint a picture by sending emotions of love, acceptance, and validation of the light lurking into the crevices of my pain, loneliness, and confusion. What is my gift to others? All of it unraveled into clarity, understanding and hope. I was able to hear the wisdom of my inner waters telling me to swim in authenticity and speak my truth. In that moment, I was able to see so clearly all the things that were holding me back from plunging into this new chapter of my life.

When Steven and I were packing our suitcases for the trip, we realized that we had overpacked our clothes and it was taking up too much space. At the time, I was not willing to downsize my suitcase because I wanted to make sure I had enough clothes for the cold weather and didn’t want to give up the beautiful outfits I had picked out to take pictures in. I thought that if I didn’t have these things then other people would not get a clear picture of who I was. After sitting in that meditation, I realized that I was holding on to the attachment of comfort (an epidemic in our modern day society) and trying to show up in the world by creating an image of myself that I thought others would respond well to rather than showing up as my own authentic self. I felt a huge release and I cried because I finally gave myself permission to be who the fuck I am with no hesitations, doubt or fear. In that moment, I was able to see so clearly what my offering was. It is my heart, that I wear on my sleeve, and graciously share with others so that they too can look deep within themselves and unlock their MAGIC. I asked for a sign from the universe about manifesting relationship abundance to make connections with people and get my voice out there.

Our move and the first days of our adventure

When I got back from vacation, Steven looked at me and goes “You are glowing! You look like you are relaxed and at peace.” I stated, “I finally am. I am so grateful to have spent the last week with my family and have some space from the stressors that our packed-up house brought me. I can feel my nervous system becoming more regulated again.” I then began to tell him of the revelation that I had experienced over vacation with my family. Steven seemed relieved that I was on-board to get rid of some stuff as he had just spent a week in Colorado with our whole set up and got a feel for packing and space in our car and camper. One of the first things he said to me was “we wayyyyy overpacked, we have to go through everything again” (this would be our third time doing this). So, we got the car completely unpacked and went through everything before repacking again. This time around felt so much easier because I had worked through the attachments to some of the items and knew that the less we had, the less we had to take care of and worry about. After we finalized getting the car and camper set up, we spent one last day with family and friends. The next day we packed up our U-haul and drove to St. Louis with our camper. We arrived in St. Louis just after the storage unit office closed, so we had to spend the night in a Walmart parking lot in our camper. We woke up bright and early the next day to unpack our U-haul into the storage unit.

Originally our plan was to go to the hot springs in Arkansas as we had finished our moving event a little before our first scheduled destination in Louisville, Kentucky. When we looked at our maps it was going to take about 6 hours to get there and then another 8 hours to Louisville afterwards. We were exhausted from the last two days of driving and packing and planning so we decided that we wanted to go somewhere between St. Louis and Louisville that would be a shorter distance and cost less (because pulling a trailer really hurts gas mileage haha). We decided on Carlyle Lake in Illinois. Our intention was less about the destination or the sights to see and more about our ability to ground into the trip and decompress from the series of events that had taken place from our recent family travels, packing and moving to another state. And wow, what a blessing it was. As we arrived to our campsite, I could feel the excitement of the journey beginning. Finally, we are at our first destination and we get to take a deep breath in and exhale knowing that we have the next 5 months to relax, play, adventure, create, and just be.

We instantly set up our campsite with all of our toys! We got out the hammock, our slackline, my hoops, the paddle boards and our bikes. We stayed at Dam West Campground on Carlyle Lake. It was an Army Corps of Engineers site which had its perks with laundry and showers, and had the most campsites I had ever seen at a campground venue. In our campground alone, there was close to 100 spots, most of them were first come first serve (which was nice) and it was only $18/night. We were spoiled with internet and wifi so we could work on getting our blogs, social media, and cameras set up for the trip. I believe Carlyle Lake was no mistake on our part. Our first days there felt serendipitous, we were met with countless opportunities to connect and meet new people. The neighbors we had were pretty special. On our first day we met an older couple, named Bill and Margie, who were working on the road and had come from Maryland. It was a real treat to talk to them because they gave us some good tips as we travel up the east coast. In fact, they practically planned our trip from North Carolina to Maine! Steven and I are not very familiar with the east coast and so we wanted to leave our itinerary open for suggestions from people we would meet along the way. In addition to that, we met our neighbors who were staying directly behind us, and they mentioned that they were staying at Carlyle Lake to attend a car show happening on Friday the 13th. We thought that sounded like a pretty cool experience, especially Steven who gets a kick out of old cars, and so we decided to book an extra day for that.

That evening we had just finished gathering up some firewood so that we could cook some dinner. We hit gold in a little wooded area near the lake, so when I saw a guy with gloves looking around I thought that he may be looking for wood. I asked if he was looking for wood and he signaled to me that he was deaf. I pointed at the wood and asked if he needed some to which he nodded yes. I took him down near the lake and we picked up a big log and hauled it back to our campsite so that he could chop it up with Steven’s axe. When I handed him the axe he looked a little confused. I think that he thought he was helping me gather wood, when I realized this, I had him stop chopping the wood and handed him a few logs that we had already cut up and thanked him for the help. The next day I woke up early and headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth with Jazzy. I walked by the deaf guys campsite (I never actually did get his name) and his two other friends that had waved at me riding on my bike previously, came up to me and began signing to me about Jazzy and giving me their chihuahua’s name—Boss. Dawn, the only female in the group and the only person who gave me their name, stated that they were from Buffalo, New York. She had a bubbly personality and easily made me laugh with her expressions. I could tell that she was a lot more open and social than the others. She gave me doggy water shoes and a knitted hat and wrote down on a piece of paper that her lab had just passed away recently. I thanked her for the gift and went on my way.

Before I began my morning routine I was gathering up my yoga mat and realized that it had gotten pretty dirty. I went to check our cleaning supplies and realized the spray bottle was one of things that we didn’t think we would use very much so we packed it up in our things for St. Louis. I shrugged it off and told myself I would deal with it later and began my morning with a manifestation meditation. Since the vacation with my family, I have been eagerly trying to align my vibrational field with the external opportunities that are presenting themselves at this time in my life. During the meditation, I was releasing some big emotions around codependency and fear and grounding into my body and psyche to start the morning and our trip in high spirits. As I was beginning to cry, Steven taps on my shoulder and I look up at him rather annoyed as he knows that I am deep in my meditation. He points over my shoulder and I look to see the deaf guy that I helped carry wood with the night before. He has a spray bottle and a hair clip in his hand. I looked at him in awe and amazement before generously thanking him for the gift. For some, this would appear as not too big of a deal since you can find a spray bottle and a hairclip just about anywhere. However, I had just stated that we needed a spray bottle and then I begin my manifestation meditation and it just shows up out of nowhere.

In that moment, I knew that this was the sign from the universe that I had asked for in the meditation that I had done with my mom. Everything was aligning in divine timing and all I could do was sit in amazement, crying at the synchronicities that had just presented themselves to me. Relationship abundance was already flooding into my life as I became more confident to freely lend a hand or wave hello. I felt my heart open right up and could feel how much more magnetized to my environment I was. If I could describe ‘stepping into your power’ through a story, this would be it. Each day we spent there we were met with kindness and gifts from others. All of our neighbors were truly wonderful over the course of our stay, we got so lucky! We were given some local tomatoes, some craft bourbon, and a guy hauled over a truckload of his wood before heading out. It is amazing what opening up to others and just getting to know them can do for you and for them. I love that gifts are such a potent way to share, connect and create relationships. It shows that you have invested a part of yourself in that person, that you enjoyed the experience, and wish to give a piece of your heart, your love, to another. All of this was created by the mere presence of connection, giving our time and attention to those around us and entering into relationship by sharing and asking questions. If there is one thing that I am starting to learn quite well it is that others enjoy being in service. Ask for help, ask for advice, ask for directions, ask for recommendations, ask questions, all you have to do is ask.

Our experience at Carlyle Lake was the perfect introduction into the journey we are embarking on. It has given me more hope, more confidence, and more gratitude. I know the universe is listening, all I have to do is get out of the way and watch it all unfold. I am grateful for all the people that we met, the routines that we are creating, and the experiences that we have already enjoyed. As we figure out what camping every day for the next 5 months will look like, we promise to enjoy all the beauty in EVERYTHING, even the mundane. We give thanks for opportunity to reflect and connect with others and will be looking for the blessings that are presented at every moment.

Thank you for being here with us and I hope you enjoy and connect with our story. Stay tuned for our next adventure! Please comment below if you have any questions or you just want to say hi.

(Paddle Boarding with Jazzy on Carlyle Lake, IL)

Next Stop >>> Land Between the Lakes, Energy Lake Campground in Kentucky

Big Love,


75 views2 comments

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page